Making A Move

Hey there blog followers. I wanted to let you all know I have started a different blog. A little more structured and dedicated to health and wellness.

I may occasionally still post something over here when I feel I need to say something and it doesn’t fit the topics I want to discuss on this new blog. So if you are interested at all in health/wellness (and my recovery from injuries and learning how to take better care of myself)

Please follow me here.

I am calling that blog Healing Runner. Since that is what I am 🙂

I am a little more open over there and post actual pictures of myself. My intent was to keep this blog totally anonymous so I could have an outlet to rant about people in my life without the fear they’d stumble on anything I’d said. I don’t find myself needing to do that much (thank goodness).

I’d really appreciate if you’d take a look and drop me a comment or a like to let me know your thoughts on my blog over there.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

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Citizens United

What a patriotic sounding name for something that has been so divisive in American Politics. Possibly the most divisive legislation we have (since most legislation now leads back to this one ruling).

For those unfamiliar, Citizens United ruling basically says that corporations have the same rights as individuals, and can therefore spend as much money as they want to donate to a political campaign.

However, money is never really going directly from the corporation to the politician or campaign. It is being funneled through false front organizations. These organizations, or PAC groups, essential ensure that nobody knows who is actually supporting a candidate or piece of legislation, since the money can’t be traced back to individual people or actual organizations.

The scary part about this dark money controlling our politics, is that in some states our court judges are chosen through election. Under normal, transparent circumstances, a judge would have to recuse themselves from a case against an individual or organization with which they have a financial tie. But through these dark money groups the public doesn’t even know who their campaign financiers really are. This means judges can rule on cases for the individuals/organizations who have funded their campaigns and not recuse themselves from the case.

This is a breeding ground for corruption in our political system.

Think twice before you believe anything said in a campaign advertisement that is funded by some vague, patriotic sounding organization like : People for the American Way, or Americans for Conservative Solutions, or Susan B. Anthony List, etc…

There’s a million of them and they are undermining our democracy.

Writers Block

Ironic to write about writers block isn’t it? Well I don’t exactly have writers block. Or maybe I do. I don’t really know.

I feel like I have a lot of things to say. There are so many things happening in our world right now that there is no shortage of inspiration or topics to be discussed.

But each time I think I have something to say. A lot to say. I sit down to write and immediately feel that I have nothing to say.

I feel its already been said. Or that I am too opinionated. That I will come off sounding trite. That I don’t know enough about these topics to post an opinion to the world.

So I don’t write anything at all. I stay silent. I feel defeated before I’ve even begun.

I don’t want to add fuel to the already divisive and polarizing fire that is burning an ever wider gap between people. Between people who probably actually have more in common when it comes to values and principles than they have differences. But because we’ve been so taught to look at others through our tribal glasses we only see that they are of a different tribe than the one we identify with. So therefore they must be wrong.

I saw this quote the other day:

I found this to be so true. We choose who we want to believe. What we want to believe. If someone we like says something, it is truth. If someone we do not like says it, it is wrong.

Anyway. I thought writing something. Anything. Might spark some inspiration to write on a more meaningful level. We will see if this works…

 

Disappointment

My little girl turned 1 year old a week ago today. That is not the disappointing part. The disappointing part is that I am not yet down to my normal weight and I HATE that I CARE SO MUCH.

scale

I am disappointed, not it the weight, but in the fact that I care so much about the weight.

I have really, really been trying to re-frame my image of myself, especially since having a daughter. It would break my heart if she felt so concerned about her weight.

I know I need to be kinder to myself. I did, after all, have foot surgery in December which kept me sedentary for two months. So I have really only been able to be active for about 2.5 months.

But in that 2.5 months I have only been able to budge my weight a couple of pounds and now it’s plateaued. I am still recovering from the foot surgery so I’ve been slow to get back into my old exercise routine but I would have expected a little more show for my efforts.

muffin-tops

I am frustrated you guys. I just want my old clothes to fit the way they used to.

I am also cheap and don’t want to have to buy new clothes to feel comfortable. But I am not going to lie and pretend that this is mostly stupid vanity and being too concerned about what the scale says.

SO. If you have any tips that worked for you. Words of encouragement. Or just tell me that I am being shallow and vain.

hey-girl-you-got-this-i-believe-in-you-meme

For the record, I plan on never talking about weight loss and dieting in front of my daughter, or expressing any disappointment in my appearance as I know that’s the worst thing for her to hear as she grows up. Which is why I am venting here instead of at home in front of her (though she is only one and wouldn’t really know what I am saying).

SO I keep in all my head, but in my head I am frustrated with myself, my weight, my wardrobe, and my overall fitness level.

I Don’t Wanna

I am having a hard time doing things lately. My job is stressful and I used to love this job, but now it is stressful and I feel like I am failing.

Being a mom is hard. So much harder than I thought it would be.

If I quit my job, there’s no reason to keep my baby in daycare anymore. That would mean I have a new full time job of being a stay at home mom.

I love my daughter but she’s a handful right now. We aren’t even into tantrum phase but she has so much energy and get into everything and does throw fits if you take things away from her (like choking hazards). So my days would be following her around the house making sure she doesn’t hurt herself.

Inevitably she’d still hurt herself. OR I’d make her cry by taking away things – or moving her away from the dog’s water bowl again and again, all day long.

I wouldn’t accomplish anything else around the house.

I’d still feel like a failure.

How do all you mom’s out there do it? Work? Stay home? How do you not feel like you are failing? I’m really struggling at the moment.

School Walkout

I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate that our children have to stage a walkout to get the nation’s attention that they do not feel safe at school.

In America. Children do not feel safe going to school. Let that sink in.

We are full of talk. Pointing fingers of blame. And then we do absolutely nothing.

I don’t know what the solution is. Speculation is thrown around everywhere about what will reduce the number of violent gun deaths. But when it comes down to putting those theories into action and policy? We suck. We fail. We plug our ears and shake our heads until something else gradually gets our attention and we forget that we have this HUGE, debilitating issue until it happens yet again.

I could go through the list of common targets that people love to blame when these things happen (admittedly, I was about to do just that) but that would make this post unnecessarily long, because the truth is none of that matters if we don’t do anything and innocent people continue to die. 

I will address one thing that I keep seeing pop up here and there. Being “nicer” to your fellow classmates. This is victim blaming. This is telling students that they weren’t nice enough to their classmate and so it’s their fault he shot up the school. I don’t think our society has a problem with niceness. Yes, bullying is a problem. But kids have been bullied by their classmates since the beginning of time. Bullying is not uniquely an American problem, and yet mass school shootings is uniquely and American problem. Also this “solution” doesn’t address all of the mass shootings that happen outside of schools. Because there are plenty of those as well.

In fact – thinking through all of the other common targets of blame, none of them are uniquely American. Violent video games, movies, music, high divorce rates, reduction in religious belief, mental health issues, and even a rampant gun culture. None of these things by themselves are uniquely American. 

One thing that isn’t talked about as much, but does seem to be different among high income countries is access to social programs that support people below the poverty line. Here’s a graphic from this BBC article.

social programs

I don’t want to put too much emphasis on this though, because what we really need is well funded, thorough research into the issue.

Why do our citizens pick up high powered weapons and turn them on their peers?

This makes me nervous to send my little girl to school when she’s older. I hope we can come together and actually work to do something about this issue. It makes my heart hurt.

 

 

These are NOT New Years Resolutions

These are NOT New Year’s Resolutionsbitmoji1105603469

I don’t really believe in New Year’s Resolutions. I think we all overdo it around the holidays and use the New Year as an excuse to detox a bit from the overindulgence. But far too often we give ourselves lofty unsustainable goals that we fail to attain and get discouraged and fall back into our old habits defeated and forlorn. 

NY-Resolution

 

So these are NOT New Year’s resolutions…

BUT

I had a crazy 2017. Becoming a mother for the first time in April. Trying to figure out my new life/role as a full-time mom with a full-time job.

Experiencing the ups and downs of new motherhood, and lots and lots of body changes. Losing (most of) the baby weight. Boobs filling and deflating with breastfeeding. Trying to figure out what I can eat that doesn’t upset baby’s tummy.

Then I had foot surgery right before Christmas. I have been mostly sedentary for the last 6 weeks. Just this week I started physical therapy.

A couple weeks after my foot surgery we had back to back illnesses in my house which you can read all about in my last blog post. Somewhere in the middle of all that stress and sickness, my milk supply dried up and I stopped breastfeeding altogether.

So needless to say I have had a lot of changes to my life, my body and my schedule in the last year. 

Now that I have stopped breastfeeding and am no longer trying to keep a milk supply up.

Now that I am in the active healing phase of my foot surgery, starting some light exercises on my foot.

Now that I am (mostly) over my head cold that has knocked us all around the last few weeks.

I feel ready to try and reinstate some of my old habits that kept me healthy, both mentally and physically, prior to baby.

I don’t expect to return to my old life. I don’t want to. I love being a mom. I will never have the freedom over my schedule that I used to (at least not until the little ones are out of the house). But it is time to find my new normal, which needs to include some healthy habits. As much for my mental health as my physical health. 

So here’s my starting point:

  • Break my sugar addiction. This is a big one. I have a BAD sweet tooth. It had gotten to the point where I was eating gross store-brand cookies that WEREN’T EVEN GOOD. But they were sugar and I needed a fix. SO for the month of February I have committed to cut the sweets. Of course there’s been sweets in the break room every day since! 28 days to break a habit they say. Perfect. We’re at day 7, so far so good.
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Had to turn down this delicious looking treat 
  • Establish a gym routine. So I haven’t started on this one yet. I need to sit down with Beau and we need to make a plan because we both value gym time and need to figure out a way to take turns. My plan is to talk to him about this in the next couple days and start this weekend. exercise
  • Reduce my carbon footprint. So this isn’t as much for my own health as it is for the health of the world. But I believe that we should all have at least one goal that gives back in some way to our community and/or world. So I am committing to take the  bus more, and eat less meat. My plan is to give meat up entirely for Lent. I am not Catholic, but I like partaking in Lent anyway. And thereafter choosing meatless options for lunches and anytime I go out to eat.

public transit

 

Anyone else out there make goals for the year? How are you doing on them?