Disappointment

My little girl turned 1 year old a week ago today. That is not the disappointing part. The disappointing part is that I am not yet down to my normal weight and I HATE that I CARE SO MUCH.

I am disappointed, not it the weight, but in the fact that I care so much about the weight.

I have really, really been trying to re-frame my image of myself, especially since having a daughter. It would break my heart if she felt so concerned about her weight.

I know I need to be kinder to myself. I did, after all, have foot surgery in December which kept me sedentary for two months. So I have really only been able to be active for about 2.5 months.

But in that 2.5 months I have only been able to budge my weight a couple of pounds and now it’s plateaued. I am still recovering from the foot surgery so I’ve been slow to get back into my old exercise routine but I would have expected a little more show for my efforts.

I am frustrated you guys. I just want my old clothes to fit the way they used to.

I am also cheap and don’t want to have to buy new clothes to feel comfortable. But I am not going to lie and pretend that this is mostly stupid vanity and being too concerned about what the scale says.

SO. If you have any tips that worked for you. Words of encouragement. Or just tell me that I am being shallow and vain.

For the record, I plan on never talking about weight loss and dieting in front of my daughter, or expressing any disappointment in my appearance as I know that’s the worst thing for her to hear as she grows up. Which is why I am venting here instead of at home in front of her (though she is only one and wouldn’t really know what I am saying).

SO I keep in all my head, but in my head I am frustrated with myself, my weight, my wardrobe, and my overall fitness level.