Doulas

Sorry I suck at blogging right now! I have so much to share I just haven’t had time to sit down and share it. Growing a baby is a lot of work! Today I am 31 weeks and 6 days! 

We interviewed our third Doula a couple weeks ago and I think we’ve found our winner! She seems really open and calming, just exactly what you’d want in a Doula, but almost just as important is that she is midwife certified and has attended around 300 births! She still charges less than the first Doula option we interviewed because she doesn’t offer any of the little extras. For instance, the first Doula takes notes about your birth during the process and writes you a birth story and also gives you some kind of trinket or charm after you’ve delivered. I am totally fine with passing up those little extras, in return for a more educated Doula who can come to my house and is certified to check my blood pressure, baby’s heart rate and my cervix for dilation while I am in labor, thus giving me a better opportunity to labor at home longer and knowing when I need to go to the hospital. I can’t tell you how reassuring this is.

I have had many friends give birth in their homes. Somehow it is more common in my area of the west than the general population. I assume this is something to do with the culture of frontierism and libertarianism. People around here are a little more suspicious of government and somehow that bleeds into modern medicine and doctors. Even some of my friends who I would consider to be more liberal on most issues (as opposed to libertarian) have chosen to give birth at home with midwives rather than at a hospital. However, I am not one who feels totally comfortable giving birth in my home without trained doctors and medical equipment on the ready should an emergency arise. 

I fall somewhere in the middle of showing up to the hospital and just doing whatever the doctor says, and not wanting the doctor involved at all. This is where the Doula/Midwife comes in. I think it is the best of both worlds to have a birth advocate who can keep me comfortable in my home for as long as possible, and help me to achieve an epidural-free hospital birth, which is my goal. 

I have a few reasons for wanting to try and epidural-free birth. The most important being that I have low blood pressure. Epidurals can cause your blood pressure to drop further, and if that happened to me and it tanked my blood pressure to be “too low” I would end up with an emergency c-section. That is the last thing I want. So that is the biggest reason, in addition to not wanting to be considered a “fall risk” and then restricted to the bed for the entirety of my laboring. Being able to move around and try different birth positions (squatting, all-fours, etc…) seems to be the key in finding the most effective way for an individual to give birth with the least amount of complications (delayed labor, tearing, etc…).

At the same time I am trying to keep an open mind and be gentle on  myself. If I end up in stalled labor without the epidural and the contractions are getting to be more than I can handle, I will allow myself to give into the epidural. I will not see this as a failure if it happens. As long as I bring a healthy baby girl into the world at the end of it all, it will be a successful birth. I truly believe that there are no wrong decisions to be made when it comes to giving birth, we all do what we feel is best for ourselves and our babies.

I have, unfortunately, encountered some people who have stronger opinions on the matter. I don’t bring up my birth plan in conversation with anyone, but if someone asks I am open to letting them know what my intentions are. I have been disappointed in a friend who recently gave birth, who I thought would be more sympathetic to the plight of pregnant women and the judgement we all receive, only to be met with comments like “women who want to have an un-medicated birth are trying be martyrs so they can brag about it” and “our ancestors who didn’t have pain medication in birth would think we were stupid to decline them.”

None of her comments have made me question my choices. It’s just sad that we as women place so much judgement on each other! I never once told her that choosing and epidural for her birth was bad in any way. It was the right choice for her. She had an easy, uncomplicated birth with no tearing. I am happy for her. It’s just that I want to try something different. We need to practice more acceptance of each other as women and not be so quick to compare ourselves to others or judge them for the choices they make.

On a positive note: Weekend before last I had a friend (a different friend) take some maternity photos of me! And then this last weekend Beau and I took a short babymoon to Las Vegas to enjoy some warmer weather and a some relaxation before this baby arrives! Expect updates on both soon! (if I can get my shit together and actually blog haha)

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6 thoughts on “Doulas”

  1. Yay!! All great things here. So glad you found a Doula 🙂

    So as for giving birth. I ended up getting an epidural and honestly if I could do it again I probably wouldn’t? I don’t know, I feel like although the epi made it sort of pain free (you do still feel some tightening and pressure) it did cause me to stall. I was in labor for over 24 hours and by the end I was so so done – I just couldn’t handle it anymore and was telling my doctor that I quit.

    I needed to be in a hospital facility and honestly I’m of the view that it’s safest to be there just in case of an emergency. I do know that most hospitals allow you to labor on your own terms so as long as you’re clear about your birth plan the nurses should respect it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s hard to know if your labor would have stalled with or without the epidural. I’ve heard of both happening…women who got the meds and stalled, and then women who were stalled and the epi helped them relax enough to get fully dilated. The important thing is you have a healthy little daughter, who I love to hear stories about 🙂 I do have a fear of my labor going on forever. So please send me good vibes that it will be (relatively) quick with no complications!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Personally I think your attitude to this whole birth thing is wonderful – probably because it aligns with where I was at. I had a situation where the epidural was off the table too so I had to work my way around that. Plus I wanted to be mobile etc for labour. I also had a doula and she was wonderful and truly instrumental in getting me through my birth which was fucking hard (I won’t lie) but I’d do it the same way again. Mine was a vbac (I wound up with an emergency c-section for my first) so I know what I’m comparing it to as well. If I had a third I’d go for the natural delivery again all the way. You can do it! You have your head screwed on right for the mental side. Getting the right team around you is instrumental and it sounds like you are onto that. Wooohooo! Very exciting. Good luck 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I hope I still feel mentally sound when I am in the moment haha. All logic and reason could easily go out the window. But I feel firm in the examples of the women around me (you included!) who have been able to achieve natural birth through their willpower, and a strong support system. 🙂

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  3. I am always shocked at the amount of mom shaming that occurs around every single aspect of motherhood. No matter what your choice is, there is always someone around the corner willing to proved their two cents about why it’s wrong and you should do it this way instead.

    Good for you for doing the research and being informed on how you want your birthing process to go and not letting other’s comments make you feel wrong in your choice. As long as baby and mom come out the other side healthy, that is all that matters!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It really is bizarre that we women judge each other for such personal choices that only we as women are asked to make. We all have instinct and intuition that should be the only thing that guides what decisions are right for us personally.

      Liked by 1 person

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