Getting Desperate

Feb-March 2016

By February I was getting desperate for answers. I had all of my testing coming up but I am not the type to wait around for doctor appointments and test results. So I kept searching for things that may help my situation. I started meditating every day. I bought a book called “Sit Like A Buddha: A Pocket Guide to Meditation” and each morning I would read a small segment and then meditate for 7 minutes before getting ready for the rest of my day.

When I met with the fertility specialist she was very reassuring, and seemed so knowledgeable about my history (burst appendix at age 12) and what it might mean for fertility. She ordered Three tests:

  • Blood Test: I hate getting my blood drawn but of course I was going to comply with anything she asked. I passed out cold while they were taking the vials, but all the results came back normal.
  • Hysterosalpingogram (HSG): May be the most painful test I have ever endured. They basically inject dye into your cervix and then have you roll from side to side while they watch the dye under and x-ray to see if it flows feeling through your tubes. It is a test for blocked tubes. Something I was concerned about due to the appendectomy and the potential for scar tissue to be interfering. But I passed with flying colors. No blockages detected.
  • Ultrasound to check Ovarian Reserve: This one had to wait until my next period because it had to be performed between certain days in your cycle (I can’t quite remember when yet, but I think it’s been day 3 and 5). So when she showed up in early March I made the appointment. Ovarian reserve was good, but they did find an endometrioma!

It was a few more days before I had the follow-up with the fertility specialist. So of course I spent all of that time researching endometriosis and what it means for fertility. It was crazy because I didn’t even know I had endometriosis. I have had friends who have it and they have had HORRIBLE symptoms. So in some ways I consider myself lucky to not have all those terrible symptoms. But on the other hand, I didn’t know it was there and so didn’t do anything about it sooner.

In my random searches about the topic I stumbled on this amazing blog: The Secret Life of Emily Maine which I immediately fell in love with. She too had struggled with fertility (for longer than I had) and had even done multiple rounds of IVF without luck. But eventually she found a doctor who wanted to do a laparoscopy and test for endometriosis and once they had cleared that up she was able to get pregnant! This blog gave me so much hope in my most desperate time.

So when I met with the fertility specialist a few days later I was armed with Emily’s story and was sure she’d recommend surgery for me as well. However, I was wrong. She didn’t think my endometriosis was interfering, and besides “if we do IVF, we’d just bypass any endometriosis that was getting in the way anyway” were her words to me. And just like that I felt like IVF was my only option. I was crushed and scared and worried about the costs.

Luckily she didn’t want to start IVF right away (or else I may have done it). Instead she wanted to try a few months of Clomid (a drug that ensures ovulation) even though I was pretty damn confident that I was ovulating and that wasn’t my problem. But I was willing to try this before delving into the IVF stuff. I also wanted to do a bit more research on endometriosis and infertility….


One thought on “Getting Desperate”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s